As we keep saying, Friday is the 14th of February, a day popularly known as Valentine’s day in many countries including our beloved Zimbabwe. While some most of us are racking our brains trying to get that last-minute gift for our beloved a lot of people out there are probably fuming and angry after being dumped.

Well, an American zoo has just the perfect solution to help you get over your “cruel” ex. They are holding a Valentine’s special dubbed “Cry Me A Cockroach” for those whose hearts were crushed by heartless exes. Here is how it works:

For a princely sum of $5 you can buy one of their cockroaches from the San Antonio Zoo
You get the special privilege of naming the cockroach after your hated ex
The cockroach the gets fed to a lizard exorcising those dark fantasies you are probably experiencing
For full cathartic measure, the dreary execution by lizard gets live-streamed to you

After this, you are bound to be feeling better.

Feel like you have $5 to waste and have an ex to get over

Rich country problems

$5 dollars will get you 9.5 kgs of mealie-meal at current black market prices. With close to 7 million Zimbabweans starving Valentine isn’t exactly utmost in people’s mind right now when our very lives are at stake.

So if you feel tempted just get in touch with me. I have lots of cockroaches that I can name after your ex and stomp on your behalf. I can send you the video via WhatsApp. Better still, I can deliver them to you and you get to do the honours.